Let me just put this out there, I am an escapist. I will try to find any means to get away from my sober world. I’ve always felt as though I was brought into this world just to suffer. But today I’ve realized something, something that makes me actually appreciate being sober; and that’s the bliss of being alive.
I was always so caught up in my head paying mind to all the negatives, hardships, pains and misfortunes that I completely overlooked something. And that something is the painstakingly obvious fact that I am alive. I am living, and this body of mine is here to help me get what I want. But I never thought about what I already have, until now.
It feels good to be alive! It’s so easy to forget and brush that off, but if you ever just actually sit there and pay mind to what it truly feels like to be, then you’ll know what I mean.
It’s pure ecstasy! My mind is clear. My thoughts carry no weight, and my body suffers not. I’m relaxed, I can breathe, and I can really focus on the beauty of the world I find myself in.
I can feel my heart pumping warmth through my being. I can feel the electricity in the air and on my skin, it’s ecstatic! The angelic songs produced by birds carry themselves to my ears. The smell of the earth fills my nose and draws me in closer, more intimately. The sight of green leaves; waving trees moving with the wind in a dance so perfect. The rippling water down in the creek giving guise to the minnows who swim just underneath.
The experience of gravity, holding me here and giving me ground to stand upon. My muscles and veins, relaxed and pulsating to the rhythm of my heart. My skin—allowing the sun to bathe me in its luminous heat.
But nothing compares to what I now feel inside of me.
A vast, immensely bliss awareness that oversees all of this beauty. One who allows me the glory of experiencing this world. One who remains unaltered in a reality destined to crumble and fizzle out. I have become that One. I’ve found my center.
I am truly outside of time. I feel the eternity that resides between moments. A place where clocks are meaningless, linearity out the window. Space, only a background for me to coincide with. It holds my form, allows me the privilege of shape and mobility.
It honestly is a bizarre thing to be alive, to be here. To witness this magnificent show. But I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.
Much love, fellow beings.